The pursuit of a long-term dream takes work and persistence, and a whole lot of keeping your eye on the prize. Because of that, we can unknowingly create expectations that are unrealistic – something along the lines of “I can’t wait to finally get there so I can relax and know everything is fine.”
We’ve all had that feeling. The first time I hopped into an RV for an untimed adventure was in the summer of 2013. I had just closed my pop music school in Keene, NH, which had become a two-migraine-a-week nightmare thanks in part to the housing crash of 2008. I had such high hopes for the changes we were making, which created in me something I call a Destination Mentality. Meaning, on some level I believed that living in the RV would somehow mean I’d reached Nirvana, and all would be well.
Many singers do something similar. I was once asked by a potential adult vocal student, “How long does it take?” I don’t remember my exact response, but I think it may have been something like, “To do what?”
She was asking me how long before she could be a singer, maybe? Or be done working on her singing, maybe? Either way, this question was born of a destination mentality. Each accomplishment in singing and in life can lead you to three more things you’d love to make happen. At least, until you don’t want any of it anymore. Before then, there’s no real graduation.
When you finally get to implement the actual dream part of your dreamy plan, it’s still only one moment along the overall journey of your life. Just like every other day. And just like every other day, you’ll still be affected by your personal challenges and life’s ups and downs.
I hadn’t been thinking that way in 2013. So, when I didn’t immediately feel freer, when I continued to struggle to get to the next place in my career, when Michael and I bickered about stupid things that didn’t matter, I felt like we had failed.
Mistakes were made, the first being that I had succumbed to a destination mentality without realizing it. Another and equally important mistake was that I wasn’t running toward something. I was running away.
But life comes with you.
Change can bring stress and mental fatigue. That’s only a problem if you don’t expect it. If you’re kind to yourself, if you remember and appreciate the changes you’re going through, you can just roll up your pant legs and wade through the changes until the water recedes. And your dream will still be there waiting to unfold with you.
Go after your best life. Starting today. Just never forget that life comes with you.
Judy Fine is a full-time RVer and Vocal, Performance, & Creative Confidence Coach
Got a creative lifestyle dream you’d like to work toward. Consider creative confidence coaching with me. Visit www.OnlineWithJudyFine.com to request a free consultation.