My musical journey began around age six. That’s the year I had my first solo performance. It was on the trombone. The song I performed was When The Saints Go Marching In. This was the first of many musical “wins” I experienced at a young age, well before I became a music student in college.
Despite the plethora of experiences, accolades, and accomplishments I made early in life, I still went into the adult world feeling like an imposter and struggling with severe performance anxiety. I avoided opportunities that presented themselves, chose projects that weren’t me, and deferred to others who didn’t have my knowledge and experience.
When I tell friends this today, they are shocked. Even the ones who knew me back then. I had used my social chameleon to convince them I was exactly where I wanted to be. The bigger problem, of course, was that my chameleon convinced me, as well.
It would have taken a mere glance at myself to see through my own deceit and self-imposed obstacles. But I didn’t know to look. And I didn’t have someone else to point my eyes in the right direction, and be there to nudge me forward.
Still, I got there, despite the unnecessary strolls around the block it took me to arrive. And the journey instilled in me an unquenchable thirst for helping others like me take a much shorter path. I essentially designed the Female Lead Singer membership bundle for myself – a much younger version of myself. Come to think of it, the Budding Songwriter bundle is also for a younger me. These things are the closest I can get to going back in time and doing better for myself.
I encourage you, wherever you are on your path, to take regular quiet moments to ask yourself two questions:
- Is there something I’m lying to myself, or misleading myself about that’s negatively impacting something important to me?
- What can I do to stop the lie, and if need be, who can help me?
I’m happy with where I am today but sad for the younger me who needed support and didn’t have it. Let me be that support for you, if you need it, and make it a goal to learn to be that support for yourself.
You have used the experience of your life so beautifully! After all you went through you created programmes that help other singers. “Let me be that support for you” – how this sounds!. You have opened your heart to others widely and this is a treasure. And source of life.
Thank you so much, Malgosia! This really is what it’s all about, isn’t it? I feel that more strongly the older I get.