A Ledge with a View: Finding My Ideal Life Persona 

 September 22, 2022

By  Judy Fine

As I write this, I am 52. So many things changed once I passed 50. And I’m not just talking about the leg cramps and sagging body parts. I’m talking about the realization that I’m running out of decades. It makes the desire to even pretend to entertain situations that waste any of my time completely fall away.

More than that, though, there is an incredible view of the past from this place. A 360-degree analysis of all that led me here.

The scenery is filled with beauty, sadness, victories, and some other words that those who love me don’t like me using, like failure and regret. But it’s all there if I’m being honest. And examining it from this viewpoint, it combines into one amazing and wisdom-filled landscape.

I've had a fairly transitory life. In the past decade, my husband and I have lived in 3 different homes plus 3 different RVs! I've been in tons of bands, had a few businesses (including one during the housing crisis!), and a lot of general ups and downs. 

Mid-COVID, I experienced a particularly low point.

We were transitioning out of RV #3 and looking for a place to live during THE WORST time. Both houses and rentals were at a premium and scarce.

We landed in an apartment in an isolated town in Maine. I was carless (because we were waiting to buy a house first), I spent thousands of dollars on a marketing specialist who took my money and left me stranded, my blood pressure was out of control, and menopause was kicking my a**. 

There are so many things I love about what I do, but the most beneficial aspect of coaching others is that you can’t help but splatter some of that coaching onto yourself. And that’s what happened. I gathered my coaching tools and sat on that metaphorical rock ledge for several months examining how I got there.

  • I started by looking at old pictures and reading old lyrics I’d written. 
  • I recorded myself sharing stories from my past and journaled about the dreams I remembered having as a child.
  • I reacquainted myself with the person I once was, a person that had to alter her language and choices over the years to fit the needs of family, clients, and others.
  • I began to imagine what she would be like today had she been free to evolve naturally. What would she think? How would she talk and dress? What would she do in her daily life?
  • I even named her. She's called S.O.

It was a magical, life-altering, and incredibly fun journey. 

And it was the final tweak to my coaching model that has proven effective for every person I've since worked with. And fun. And what's the point of doing something if it's not fun?

I’m going to tell you more about SO in future articles (like how she and I almost ran away with the circus).

For now, I want to help you to uncover and name your own S.O.. Will you let me do that? I hope to meet you both soon! - Judy

Judy Fine

Judy Fine has been a vocal and performance coach since 2007, specializing in artist development coaching for aspiring singers and confidence coaching for women.

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