How to Build Confidence: Say “Yes” to Things That Challenge (& Scare) You 

By  Judy Fine

There are many stops along the journey to learning how to build confidence.

Few are more important the learning to say "yes" to the right opportunities - through the investment of time, energy, or resources - that will benefit your skillsets, self-belief, and sense of accomplishment. 

The Cost of Hesitation:

How to build confidence

Confidence is the key to success and happiness. And pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zones is a requirement for learning how to build confidence. Yet, many of us find ourselves hesitating when faced with opportunities that could propel us and our confidence forward.

This hesitation often stems from a lack of belief in (1) our current skills, (2) our worthiness to pursue our goals, and/or (3) our ability to rise to the occasion and develop new skills in real time.

Imagine an opportunity arises to meet your friends at a karaoke night. Instead of thinking, "Yes! This is an opportunity to practice my technique while feeling nervous,"  you may instead find yourself plagued by inner dialogue like, "They'll find out I'm not good enough" or "My voice might crack and then I'd be mortified!" 

We become so fixated on the possibility of things going wrong that we fail to see the potential for growth and learning that comes with taking risks.

And more importantly, we rob ourselves of the confidence that grows from stepping outside our comfort zones and surviving! This fear-based mindset creates a barrier between us and our aspirations, leaving us stagnant and unfulfilled. Which makes us feel even less worthy. Which makes us pass up more valuable opportunities. And so on...

Embracing the Power of "Yes":

Now, imagine saying "yes" to karaoke night. Instead of allowing fear and self-doubt to dictate your choices, you choose to embrace the unknown and trust in your ability to overcome challenges. So, you get up to sing your first song and... your voice DOES crack. Ahhhhh!!!

Yes, curling up to die is one option.

But a better choice is to ask yourself why it happened. In this case, I can tell you the answer. You were singing with tension for sure, if your voice cracked. Now, with that hindsight, you go to sing your second song and you focus on not tensing your tongue and throat as you sing. And guess what? You'll do better. And you will have made that progress in real time.

By saying "yes" to growth-building opportunities, you open yourself up to a world of great possibilities. You'll discover hidden talents and strengths that you never knew existed. You'll cultivate resilience and adaptability as you navigate unfamiliar territory. With each new challenge you conquer, your confidence and self-belief will grow, paving the way for even greater achievements.

Moreover, by stepping outside of your comfort zone, you expand your horizons and enrich your life experiences.

You meet new people, explore new ideas, and gain a deeper understanding of yourself, the world around you, and your ability to navigate it. Every obstacle becomes an opportunity for growth, and every setback becomes a lesson in resilience.

In essence, by embracing the power of "yes," you unlock your full potential and create a life filled with purpose, passion, and fulfillment. 

Cultivating a "Yes" Mindset:

Building confidence and self-belief starts with adopting a "yes" mindset. This is a foundational component of confidence coaching and the Singer-Athlete Membership program. Here are some simple behavior and mindset changes - used by both those types of coaching clients - that you can also employ to start saying "yes" to challenging but beneficial opportunities:

  1. Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Replace self-doubt with self-empowering affirmations. Instead of saying "I can't," say "I can learn and grow."
  2. Embrace Mistakes as a Learning Opportunity: Shift your perspective on "failure" from something to be feared to something to be embraced. Every setback is a chance to learn and improve.
  3. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone Regularly: Make a conscious effort to try new things and take calculated risks. Start with small steps and gradually work your way up to bigger challenges.
  4. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences: Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you to be your best self. Seek out mentors and role models who embody the confidence and self-belief you aspire to have.
  5. Celebrate Your Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how small. Recognize the progress you've made and use it as motivation to keep saying "yes" to new opportunities.

As you learn how to build confidence, remember, confidence is not about being fearless—it's about having the courage to face your fears and grow stronger because of them. Say "yes" to beneficial challenges - even the ones that scare you or require your time and resources to pursue - and watch as your confidence and happiness soar to new heights.

Not sure how to move forward? Check out this option...

Judy Fine

Judy Fine has been a vocal and performance coach since 2007, specializing in artist development coaching for aspiring singers and confidence coaching for everyone.